


Timmy Says a Bad Word

by quasar84



Category: Fairly OddParents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27987963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quasar84/pseuds/quasar84
Summary: Wanda pays bills and Cosmo flips his shit and Timmy cusses out Mama Cosma
Relationships: Cosmo Cosma/Wanda Fairywinkle Cosma
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Timmy Says a Bad Word

It was early on a weekend morning in the Turner residence. Cosmo woke abruptly to discover his wife was not next to him. Confused and slightly disappointed, he climbed out of bed and wondered around the halls. Eventually, he stumbled into living room in the fishbowl and saw Wanda, already dressed, sitting at a desk while poring over some papers. He frowned, knowing what this meant. 

Wanda heard his timid steps behind her. She wasn't surprised. She knew that he would come to her as soon as he realized she wasn't there. She felt a pang of guilt. She'd really tried to be quick and quiet this time. Cosmo hated being left alone, and Wanda hated leaving him, which is why she had to make this monthly trip so early in the morning: so he would not realize that he was alone. About half of the time, though, he still noticed. Unfortunately, Wanda could not simply poof the documents to the bank because the law required someone to sign some papers in person. She didn't want to upset Cosmo, but she had to pay the bills, otherwise they could lose everything. Wanda had tried simply bringing Cosmo along with her before, but he promptly got banned from that building. There was a fly buzzing around and annoying everyone, and he took it upon himself to poof a frog into existence to eat it. Well, the first frog ignored the fly...and the second...and the third...until finally there were dozens of frogs loose in the building. 

He meandered over to her and plopped his head on her shoulder and asked, "Whatcha doin', baby?"

Wanda let out a small sigh. "Paying bills, dear." 

Cosmo didn't move. "Can I help?"

"No Sweetie, I've got it." She reached around him and rubbed his arm lightly. "Go back to sleep."

"I'm so proud of you," Cosmo mumbled before moving away from her and stumbling down the hallway. 

Wanda turned around and fondly watched her husband walk away, but the guilt was still gnawing at her. She just hoped she could be home again within the next hour. With that thought, she gathered up her things and poofed to Fairy World. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cosmo had promptly passed out as soon as he'd made it back to his bed, and when he woke up again a couple hours later, he felt extremely disoriented. The clock read 10:07 A.M. Wanda never slept in that late. Then he realized Wanda was also not there. Then, he remembered seeing her in the living room earlier that morning and relaxed a bit and decided to get out of bed. However, the time was making him a bit anxious. The more Cosmo thought about it, Wanda usually left to pay the bills at about 7:00 A.M., and she was usually back home again by 8:30 A.M. or sooner. Why wasn't she back yet? Anyhow, it was late, so Cosmo decided he'd better check on Timmy. 

He poofed into Timmy's room, and his godchild greeted him while eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hey, Cosmo. What took you so long?" he asked playfully. 

"Oh, uh...I slept in."

"Oh...Where's Wanda?"

"At the bank, I think." 

In that moment, Timmy thought to himself that Cosmo was very bad at hiding his emotions. He felt bad for his godparent. Obviously, Wanda was taking care of some official fairy business, and Cosmo was missing her. 

"You want some cereal? It's got green thingies in it," Timmy offered. 

Cosmo lit up at the offer. "Sure, Sport! Thanks!"

A kid on a bike road past the house and rang a bell. 

"The Sunday paper is here! I'm gonna look for ads for new games!" Timmy exclaimed, already halfway out the door. 

The Sunday paper, Cosmo thought. 

Sunday?

SUNDAY?

But wasn't it Saturday? Wanda ALWAYS went to the bank on Saturdays. The last time Cosmo went to bed, it was definitely Friday night. Had he really slept for a whole day? And why was Wanda still gone?

Cosmo was convinced that something happened to her. That would also explain why he felt so strange when he woke up: someone must have slipped him some sort of sleeping medication so that he couldn't help her. 

Cosmo heard Timmy's excited footsteps coming up the stairs. He bounced across the threshold, already about to make a wish.

"Sport, we have a problem."

"I wish- wait, huh?"

"Wanda's gone missing. I have to find her."

"WHAT?"

"I know, right?" Cosmo cried. 

"Well, what are we waiting for? I wish we were in Fairy World!" 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Timmy and Cosmo arrived in Fairy World, the first person they went to was Jorgen. Because he was the toughest fairy in the universe, they hoped he'd know what to do. 

"Cosmo, Turner," Jorgen said, "I hate both of you, but I can tolerate Wanda, so I will do everything in my power to get her home safely. Also, that is kinda my job, so I have to anyway." 

Jorgen sent out a team of fairies to investigate the situation. They scoured all of Fairy World for signs of her while Timmy and Cosmo frantically asked random fairies about her. Eventually, they ended up at Mama Cosma's house. 

Cosmo was actively sobbing at this point. He told his mother about his missing wife and how he was convinced he would never see her again. Timmy was clearly also upset, although he was trying to hold himself together for Cosmo's sake. 

"Oh dear, well, at least I don't have to worry about that vile scum ever coming near you again," Mrs. Cosma said. 

Cosmo just kinda stared at her. 

Eventually, Timmy broke the silence: "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

Not feeling any need to scold his godson, Cosmo silently walked out of the door with Timmy close behind him. 

"So, what do we do now?" Timmy asked quietly. 

"I don't know, Sport. I just don't know."

Cosmo couldn't bring himself to leave Fairly World just yet, so he and Timmy meandered around a bit while half-heartedly looking for any sort of clue. Eventually, they came to the bank. 

"Cosmo!" A familiar voice called. More quietly, "You're not supposed to be here, you-"

"WANDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"OHMYGOSHITHOUGHTIWOULDNEVERSEEYOUAGAINILOVEYOUSOMUCHWHATHAPPENEDWHEREDIDYOUGOAREYOUOKAY-"

"Cosmo! Calm down! It's okay," she said, gently grabbing his hands. 

"But-"

"I went to pay the bills, like I always do on the first Sunday of the month. The line was just really long."

"...Sundays?"

"Cosmo, what did you do?" asked Timmy. "Now we have to tell Jorgen and he's gonna be so mad!"

"Uhhh Timmy said 'fuck'," Cosmo said. 

"Was it to Mama Cosma?" Wanda asked. 

"Yes," Cosmo and Timmy replied in unison.

"You get a pass."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later on that Sunday evening, Cosmo and Wanda were in their fishbowl home as usual. It was obvious to Wanda that Cosmo was still upset about earlier. He was avoiding her. That alone told her that he felt guilty and embarrassed. If she went to him herself, he would probably just duck away from her. She had to let him come to her himself. 

And eventually, he did. 

He came up behind her like he normally did when he was upset, plopped his chin on her shoulder, and wrapped an arm around her waist. Wanda felt his tears on her shoulder and the side of her face. He felt completely rigid. She reached her hand up and ran it through his hair a few times, smiling to herself when she felt him exhale and relax. 

"Talk to me," she said. 

"I was just so, so scared."

"I know. But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm so damned stupid and so damned needy. I hate that I cause all of these problems for you."

"Cosmo, I love you. You're not being needy. I get just as upset when we're separated as you do."

"You do?"

"Yes, I just show it differently."

"How so?"

"Well, I can get a bit...testy."

"Please elaborate."

"Let's just say that we will have to start using a different bank."

"...Did you get banned?"

"Maybe."

"What did you set on fire?"

"The office plants. I didn't like the look that bank teller was giving me, okay?"

"I love you so much, Wanda."


End file.
